I’m currently sitting in our kitcheny dining room thing on Howie’s laptop because my internet has borked.

I did some Christmas shopping today which made me feel like a good person. This may be a poor month but at least I’m helping the economy. I’m all into social justice like that.

Last night (Thursday) a bunch of people came over to watch Rambo. I think the women folk were a little perplexed by the male (except for Martin) love for Rambo and his ultra-violence. Mil looked at us and said “Why do you like that?”

I didn’t really bother to explain. I don’t think I can. On paper there’s nothing appealing sounding about watching an over-muscled Grandpa massacre hundreds of Burmese soldiers with a .50 caliber machine gun. But by golly, it’s so enjoyable. Were I to watch it in real life I’d be entirely traumatised. But it’s not real, it’s friggin awesome. Bam-Bam-Bam. It rocks you too your belly. Rambo is a man. Rambo is made to kill. And when he’s pushed “killin’ is as easy as breathin'”.

Rambo is like Jack Bauer (who was back on TV tonight!) but without saying nearly so much dumb stuff, because he doesn’t really say anything at all, he just slaughters bad guys. If Jack Bauer and Rambo were in a fight, Rambo would just have to look at Bauer and he’d cry.

Happily, while we’re on the subject, Jack Bauer is being arrested to stand trial for torture. Yes! I hope he goes to jail. He won’t, he’ll go rouge and save the United States from certain death at the hands of tricky, double crossing terrorists. But I hope he does. Jack Bauer is a bad man who does bad things really well.

Rambo is a good man who does bad things really well.

Speaking of men with guns, Clint Eastwood is back with a gun in Gran Torino. And he beats up gangstas. Awesome.

When I grow old I want to be like Clint Eastwood. Old and quiet, and able to beat you up with the butt of my rifle.

I’ll probably end up like Wallace from Wallace and Grommet but without the dog and without the inventions. But I’ll still be made of plasticine.