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I spend so much of my life in schools. Sometimes it has some excellent moments. Sometimes less excellent, mostly because I say stupid things. Here are some highlights of “skool lyf”:

– I get called “Sir” all the time these days. I’m definitely not a sir but I’ll take it.
– On Tuesday as I was walking into a school a kid who knew me saw and said “There he is! What a serial killer!” I’m not sure if that was a compliment or a comment that I’m a creepy man who hangs around schools.
– Today I was giving a talk and I was talking about dreams I said “I don’t know about you but I don’t often have dreams that make sense. Like I often dream that I turn up to school naked, and I don’t even go to school.” This sounded less illegal in my head.
– I love it that in primary school kids run everywhere. There is no reason to run, but they always run. And then the teachers shout at them and tell them to stop running. I think I should spend more of my life running places with unnecessary haste. It seems fun.
– I sit through more school assemblies than any person should once they’ve left school. Mothers love to take photos of their children receiving merit awards on their smart phones or with their SLR. I can’t imagine any of these photos are ever worth looking at again. I think they should just watch their kid get their award with own eyes, smile and clap. That seems more encouraging for the child than seeing their parent turn up be not be present because their too focused on useless photography.
– Turns out teachers are real people. School taught me many things but it never really taught me that.
– Sometimes I see teachers in their academic gowns. It always excites me. I should get some, and a wand. Then I’d be awesome.

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