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Howie and I have a habit of going somewhere different and finding the closest shopping centre, eating in the food court and seeing a movie. Today, being in Melbourne, was no different. After checking out of our hotel and doing a tour of the MCG (which was oddly touristy of us but also pretty fun) we found a shopping centre ate some lunch then went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I wanted it to be awesome but when it wasn’t I had to remember that it was a kids’ movie I was watching. I loved TMNT when I was a kid. I remember shouting the catchphrases, owning a turtles jumper (which got mildew on it) and really, really wanting to be as cool as Michelangelo. Now I’m an adult, I want my action heroes to be a little more believable than ninja turtles. But for kids, this movie seems pretty exciting. I would have loved it. There are guns, and ninja fighting, and chase sequences and (kid) funny jokes. I can’t remember if it’s “appropriate” for kids, probably, but when I was 7, the more “inappropriate” for kids the film was, the more I was interested, at least in terms of violence. James Bond movies were fantastic. As far as the rest goes, it never phased me the James Bond had sex with multiple women in every film. That didn’t even seem to register as significant as a kid. So when Wil Arnett makes a joke about Megan Fox’s bum in this movie, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it at all or realised what was going on. So when comes to this film, I would have had a great time.

Anyway, the film was pretty bad. The story was predictable, the action was dull, the characters were underdeveloped, everything was preposterous. Adult Tom gives it 2 stars. But kid Tom gives it 5 stars, he would have had the time of his life, and he’s who matters here.

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